Like, I've liked boys, but for some reason I feel everyone wants them instead of me. I could be very happy. I'm ready, and most people aren't. I just have things to clean up in my room, the garage. I've cleaned up quite a bit, though. I appreciate my parents etc. I'm calling my grandma, and I think she's tired and likes to be alone. I'm not sure exactly how often she wants to talk.
I'm not used to molding myself for a boy so much as I am doing the things Helena did with her kids. Why was everything suddenly over for me and so much?
I know I got credit cards online and was mistaken that we would pay back a little at a time and I'd get a job. We had to get help or whatever you'd call it. Soon I might "file bankruptcy."
I got mad and punched 1 hole in my wall. Things seemed different, so I continued.
That little girl Nell seems to have it made. I was considering going back to college until I get hired for something in Hollywood. I was thinking of doing voice, but that's because I used to be a piano and organ major. I could also do theater, but I hear it's not the same as high school. Because of that, I think I will do the singing since I don't have theater friends right now. I'm not sure. It would be fun to chose art, too. I want to become an actress. I feel ready. I'm not sure what a good college major for fun exactly is. I'm also thinking voice because Julie Andrews is out there, and it might be a good idea in case any musical videos get made. I just want to act, though. Maybe I will do theater.
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